Nothing can prepare a mother from the shocking news that their little one doesn't have much to live. I had never heard of Trisomy 18 and was ignorant to it. Everything was supposed to be great. Caleb was supposed to be well. Even though I had a hard pregnancy no one had given me the bad news I was going to get. I had many hopes and dreams for Caleb. I had already in mind planned to see him grow and care for him and love him very much. On Wednesday May 24, 2017 around 6 am my water broke. I had not anticipated anything since I was only 34 weeks pregnant either way I was excited to meet my son not knowing anything else. From my local hospital I was transferred by ambulance to a bigger hospital that was able to care for premature babies. Staff noticed Caleb's heart rate dropping before I could be transferred, So when I got there Dr's decided it was in Caleb's best interest that he should be delivered by emergency C section. Caleb was delivered at 1:24 pm on Wednesday May 24, 2017. As he was being delivered we slowly started getting worrisome news. Caleb had a bilateral cleft palate and he couldn't breathe on his own. I never heard him cry. Dr's were having trouble intubating him because of how closed his airway was, They tried four times the last one was a success. Everything was happening so fast I only thought oh he just has a cleft issue and he is small so everything would be OK. What hurts the most though before I realized something was wrong with him is I couldn't hold by baby he was rushed right away to NICU. I only had a quick chance to see him. After a few hours I tried to go see him but was not very much successful, It was too soon nurses sent me back to bed from how weak I was. I wanted to hold Caleb so badly but I couldn't. My husband kept going to the NICU to check on Caleb since I was unable to. On Thursday afternoon we got the devastating news by the DR. Dr's thought he had a condition I had never heard before. He suspected Caleb had Trisomy 18 and was not going to live long. My world came crashing down. What I had never imagined that could happen to our family was going to happen. I didn't have much time to process so many things. I was supposed to be in the hospital having my baby and celebrating his birth and feeling joyous instead I couldn't in my mind comprehend that I would soon have to be planning my son's funeral. As time passed Caleb's health was declining. Dr didn't think Caleb would leave the hospital alive.He explained to my husband and I how his lungs would eventually fill with fluid and suffocate because he had a severe heart defect and if that didn't happen it was only a matter of time he went into cardiac arrest. I cried and asked the DR that if poor my son would suffer to please make sure he wouldn't. As much as it hurt me to let me dear baby go. I couldn't see my baby suffer the way I saw him. After talking with the DR my husband and I agreed that the DR would do everything possible to make sure Caleb wouldn't suffer much and would be given medication to keep him as comfortable as possible. Friday afternoon passed and my husband and I tried to see Caleb as much as we could and spend time with him. We had close family and friends come visit and see him before he was taken off the ventilator. Caleb's brothers and his sister came to say goodbye. At 7:30 pm he was disconnected and it was the first time my husband and I could hold him. As a mother I had wished all had been just a bad dream and that I never had to let go of my dear son. I wanted to cherish the little time i had with him. I kept telling Caleb over and over how much I loved him and I kept kissing him. I wanted to let Caleb know how much I'd miss him and I wanted him to know his parents loved him very much. As the machines started beeping and making noise Dr ordered for Caleb to get morphine and machines were silenced. Caleb was supposed to leave us. Even though we had been ignorant to how he was going to come into this world he was not supposed to leave like this. As he slowly left us I wanted to die with him my husband and I were shattered by our little boy leaving us. By 8:45 pm Friday night May 26, 2017 our little angel left us At that moment we felt so vulnerable nothing we did, said, or felt could change the fact that Caleb was gone. Caleb was a fighter!!! From reports I read after his death many Trisomy 18 babies don't live passed second or third trimester. Caleb fought hard to meet his mommy and daddy and his brothers and sister. Even though we regret not being told before hand that he had Trisomy 18 to plan how we would spend time with Caleb, I will forever be grateful that he met us and we met him alive. As hard as it is to know he can't be with us part of him will always be with me and part of me will always be with him always. If I had all the money in the world I'd give it to the Trisomy organizations and foundations to help babies like Caleb to have a fighting chance against all the odds these little ones have to cross. If you took the time to read Caleb's story thank you very much. I am forever changed because of Trisomy 18 and see the world in a different way now. I see these babies as part of my family now and would like some closure knowing that in the future advance medicine and science can give these babies better hope for a better life. Eunice